So yea, I’m engaged….it’s August 1st….I have no ‘real’ job for the Fall. I haven’t begun my mad scratch-n-claw at each of the surrounding counties but Monday should prove to be quite the work day!
I mean, it’s crazy. I’ve got years of experience as a substitute teacher which if you ask any teacher, is probably more challenging if only as challenging but in a different way, than ‘real’ teaching. Meanwhile, I’m certified with 3 degrees and a teaching ceritification. I’m 32, a triathlete, and want to teach middle school! Middle school for the love of sunlight. Can I have a job now?!
Anyway…..I swam twice this week and the shoulder held up. mostly. I swam a 100 meters last week and only my lungs hated me. Then I swam a 500 (broken into 100s) and the shoulder did great. Tired but no pain. Swam the next day. Got 425 meters but upon pushing off the wall, the left told me it was done. I stopped immeditately and walked back to the other side of the pool to retrieve my sunglasses.
I haven’t been back in the water but I did get the seat on my bike adjusted so it’s no longer at a X-degree pitch forward. It’s not bad for racing as the seat forces you to keep your back flat but for training, it’s uncomfortable as shit! So back I go on the bike this afternoon.
I’ll be putting all this in ‘the book’ today but am just happy that I can do anything. Sad that I’m coming from basically zero, knowing that I have a direct rival in the Annapolis Tri in 36 days but hey, if I can make it through without injury I’ll be psyched. So much for the Summer of Bri.
On a higher note, I’ll be posting these to my other blog as well….starting after I reintroduce myself to that one. The link is A.D.D.
That one has more than just about Triathlon on it, well to a greater extent but I’m sick of trying to write things twice and since I have readers in both places, I’ll just copy-paste but that’s all behind-the-scenes stuff that most people could give a crap about.
Let’s see ….what else…..
Ah the reason I started writing anyway….I do not believe that a marriage should have doubt in it. If you doubt that I’ll be by your side, then what are you doing here? If you have a thought that I would go behind your back and do something with any real meaning with somebody else in a manner that is ‘wrong’, then this isn’t for you.
I can say this with great conviction seeing as that I’ve done the worst thing. No no, not as of late…say, 15 years ago? maybe more? Well, I’ve learned from that sitch and I’ve felt what people feel. The distrust of everyone, even the one you love. I’ve been dumped on Valentine’s day as punishment. I’ve known since that I would never get engaged, married, whatever…without KNOWING that I’m good. Knowing that there is no doubt in my mind that the other person is going to fuck me over. I know they are behind me even when they’re screaming at me. (which is so rare now….it’s awesome!)
Whatever. To be flirty is one thing, to do anything is whole other ballgame. See, I’m flirty by nature but I don’t mean anything by it. I’m filthy and crass too. SO? I’m loyal and trustworthy. Sorry if you aren’t. Sorry if you think your spouse isn’t. Sorry for your decisions. I’m sorry for you!
*revision* I was just driving around and got super annoyed by the email that was sent to me, that set this off:
Brian,
I would really appreciate it if you would not contact me at all anymore.
L
Dude, I didn’t write you in forever except for like two weeks ago when I wrote you AND Liz because I worked with you two, to tell you that I was engaged. I mean, jesus. I get it husband. You’re insecure. I have no idea what drives that but honestly, whatever. I just hate being told what I can and can not do. I have a major authority problem in my personal life as I realize that with a job comes being told what to do. No worries.
But in my personal life, go fuck yourself if you think you’re going to tell me what I can’t do.
Now I’ll respect the request because I have and I haven’t given it a second thought short of telling everyone that I know that I’m engaged. Furthermore, our friendship has been over for over a year? Forever in my head but since L, you helped me with K, I thought you might wanna know that she and I will be forever happy.
I am actually sorry that L and J can’t make the wedding, wherever that is and however we do it. As again, I think L’s help during K and my rough patch helped K and I get to where we are now. So here is my thank you. Here my never contacting you again. I’m only angry because I’m being told what to do and since this is an appropriate place for me to place my anger, I’ve expressed it here online for my girl and whoever else to see….and the best thing is, you’ll never see it and neither will J. But that J needs some fucking confidence. Be a man you VJ!

Now lemme just ssssllliddeee that soap box back and away. I’m engaged! Woo!!
Off to bike (indoor)